Toys and more toys. Do you trip over them when you walk through your house and feel like cursing!! Me too!
There are times that I feel the need to just put all the toys in the car and drive to the closest donation center and dump them all!! I’m sure you have thought this a few times too, or maybe I’m just not as patient with my kids’ toys as you are. Here’s the thing that stops me… MOM GUILT. Yup, even when my kids come to me and say they want to get rid of a toy, I say oh are you sure. Why do I do this? They are trying to give as I am teaching them too, and all I can do is confuse them more.
Mom guilt comes on quickly and seems to linger way too long!!!! Why do we do this to ourselves?
What is Mom guilt?
First lets define this term-
Healthclevelandclinic.org states that “ Mom guilt is a name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some people feel when they don’t live up to their own or others expectations in their role as a parent. It’s like an internal dialogue that tells you you’re failing as a caregiver.”
Ok so what is considered failing as a parent- well failing means that you have caused significant trauma either mentally, physically, or emotionally to your child. Failing them is when you can not feed them, can not give them a safe home, or give them the care they need.
When Mom guilt is broken down, it seems to me that in the last many years, peers and the media have only put more and more pressure on parents to parent in a way that is acceptable to society.
I found this quote and absolutely thought it was perfect, it reads:
‘There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but I guarantee you, even though we all know that, we still get stuck in this idea that we should be better, and that other people are doing it better than us. We have this perfectionist piece of us that comes out that keeps us from seeing the progress that we’re having”
– Dayna Abraham
Getting away from the Mom guilt
Ok, so are you a good mom or a bad mom? I think that if you are worried about whether you are a good or bad mom, you are already a great one! Do you think that “bad” moms really care about mom guilt? Nope!
You are a great mom!!! You care for your children. You care about how you are parenting and wanting the best for them!
So how can we combat Mom guilt, and make our own expectations our main priority for our parenting. Such as, I am no longer going to feel guilt about my children wanting to get rid of toys, and I am not going to feel guilty when there is an abundance of toys at home, and most are not getting played with, to take them to a center where they can be used by children with less.
I am also going to challenge myself to look at the definition of failure as a parent and compare my guilt to this when it comes up. I will take deep breaths, and journal when I feel the guilt the most.
How do you deal with Mom guilt? Does it seem to get better when your kids are older?
You are a great mom!!
Motherhood is a thankless job most of the time! We stay up late, get up early, and at all times of the night we are on duty. You care about being a good influence, mother, wife, person, and really someone that your children can aspire to be like. Some days are harder than others. The kids may really make you feel that you are the worst, especially if you are not feeling up to par and they are crazy full of energy. Remember that you are doing your best. It’s not an easy cut and dry job. Keep going. Keep striving for more patience, kindness, understanding, strength, persistence, and enjoyment in your journey as a mom! I know I am, and it’s in my prayers daily!
-Kristy
3 responses to “Lets face it, Your a great MOM!!”
No one ever said Motherhood would be easy. It’s a daily challenge to be inbraced and be thankful for. You have jumped thru many hoops and obstacles and have come out on top as an amazing Mom to Daisy and David. Knowing how to handle those challenges with grace and patience. Keep up the great job you are doing. I could not be prouder of you. Just look at this wonderful blog you are writing to give support to those other young Mom’s.
Thank you so much!! I feel very humbled by sharing my experience and knowledge.
I try my best to be a great mom and know there are so many like me, that are trying their best too! Bless you and thank you for your comment!
I feel like I have been a good mom, supportive mom and on and on. Let me tell you that at 81 years old, mom guilt still remains.