Being Different

My sweet daughter the other day was laying in bed and we were snuggling after reading a book, about to fall asleep. It never fails that this is the time of day that she wants to ask the big questions or bring up something that is bothering her.

Lord help to remain awake enough to say the right things!!!

She had just lost her other front top tooth a few days prior and she had a sweet toothless smile, but she asked why we needed to lose teeth. 

I explained the anatomy to her and let her know that we all lose these baby teeth and then we have to take care of our permanent teeth after that.

I could tell something was bothering her because she started to kinda wiggle like she was uncomfortable. 

Then she said she wished we didn’t lose teeth, or that they grew in right away. I didn’t understand why she would be upset about this until she spoke again. 

She said she doesn’t like to be different from the other kids. She hates that she is different in that she has both front top teeth missing now. 

My heart hurt. I wanted to wrap her up in a cocoon and just make all the hurt and awkwardness go away so she could feel more confident. It’s amazing to me at even 6 years old she is so aware of the difference in appearance from her peers and has the awkward feeling of being different.

This not the first time in the last month or so that she has mentioned outward appearance as an uncomfortable feeling for her. She is now highly aware of how her hair looks, especially after wearing a stocking hat. (yes I have had countless disagreements with her about having to wear a stocking hat in 5 degree weather.. no matter how her hair looks later.)

Sure we have all been there and some of us are still in the boat of what will others think of how I dress, how will they like my hair, glasses, ect. I didn’t think this obsession with outward appearances would come so fast. I though I had at least til 5th grade or so. I feel like it came like a slap in the face… fast and hard! 

So how do I handle this, I thought to myself. How do I make this a normal feeling, but also a teachable moment of you need to really not put all your self esteem on how you look.

Mamas I wanted to scream to God and say… “Hello!! Help me out here!!!!”

What I said was this – We all go through this stage of losing teeth, getting taller, and feeling awkward or uncomfortable in our own skin. What we need to remember through all this is that what truly makes a person beautiful is who they are. How you treat people, how kind you are, how you act, and how you think of yourself. I admitted to her that I was once uncomfortable and felt awkward in my own body, and felt like I was different than everyone too. 

I admitted that I still sometimes feel that I wish I looked a different way, or that I liked how someone else looked better than me. 

I hope that making it normal for her to feel like this, it will help her to feel more confident in the awkward days.

I pray that she truly understands someday that what does really matter comes from the inside. It comes from who she really is, and not what others think or say about her. 

Everyone is different on the outside, but the same on the inside. (Ok nurse friends… I know that we are not all identical on the inside, just go with me on this.)

I try to teach my children the importance of treating others the way they want to be treated. Different hair, cloths, thoughts, or skin. I want them to treat everyone as God wants us too…

“Love your neighbor as yourself” – Mark 12:31

Let’s all help by living our lives as we want our children to. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and seeing the beauty of the heart and not the skin.

You got this Mama!!

-Kristy