A thought on Marriage

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

Ok everyone… I am going to change it up a bit. I want to talk about not just what we do to keep our marriage good, but to really have a fun, and fulfilling marriage.

I pray all of you have healthy and great marriages but I know there are ones out there that do not. If that is you please seek help, whether it be talking to a family member, pastor, counselor, or friend. You deserve a good and health relationship. I believe that everyone deserves to have someone who treats them right, and is a loving and kind partner. A relationship built on mutual respect and responsibility for the things in your life.

In the Bible you will find so many verses about marriage and helping one another in all aspects of your life together. Such as – In Ecclesiastes 4 – “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their hard work. If either should fall, one can pick up the other. But how miserable are those who fall and don’t have a companion to help them up.” This is so true… I know I would be miserable if I did not have my husband to help me!

This is not just physical falling down in life, but spiritually and emotionally falling down. In our society today we have so much mental health breakdowns due to stress and the fast paced nature of our world. We need to be able to help each other through this, or at least help get them the help that they need to cope with the stress, and come to a conclusion or plan of what they can do to depress that stress in the future. There is no one person in this world that does not have some stress in their lives and does not need to talk to their spouse about it. Galatians 6:2- “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” God made us to be a community and to live together to help each other. This especially applies to spouses.. in my opinion.

Teamwork in parenting is essential too! Not just being on the same page when it comes to discipline and rewards, but on standing strong together and showing your children all that life can be. What a good healthy relationship looks like and should sound like. To show them how you respect each other and share the responsibility of a life together. In Hebrews there is a verse that states – “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” So how can we spur or encourage each other towards love and good deeds? How can we come together and make a plan to live the best life together?

I feel that communication is the best way to have a great marriage. Along with love and respect of course. In my mind you should be in communication with your spouse on everything.

When my husband and I got married the first few weeks of our marriage was spent in a church basement at night going through Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. We felt as our marriage was starting we wanted to open up those lines of communication for our financial future. This helped immensely with our house hold financial health. We learned how to talk to each other about finances and really enjoy your money, not let it control you. Ok I wont tell you everything we learned… just know that I would recommend you and your spouse go through this course together!!!!!

What about other communication in your marriage? We talk all the time about things such as work, concerns with children, silly things about children, really anything about our kids, our hopes and dreams, where we want to vacation, you name it – we talk about it. I feel that is why we have a good solid life together. We share our wants and needs, even if it is hard to tell each other. I cannot emphasize this enough —- TALK TO ONE ANOTHER ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!

One thing that I have started in the last year or so is to pray for my husband. There is so many ways to pray for him. You can tell him you are doing this, do this with him, or just do this in your prayers quitely. I tend to just put him in my prayers at night without making it known, but I have sent him emails with prayers I say for him – this is usually if he is having a hard day. But my prayers for him are every night no matter what.

Sometimes my prayers for him are just whatever is in my thoughts, and sometimes I find some prayers on Pinterest or on the internet somewhere and say those. Remember God does not need perfect words, just what’s in your heart.

One of the best things we do for each other in our house is 50/50 cleaning and cooking. We both work, well to be fair he works more than I do but we still have a large house and 2 children… so you know it takes a lot to keep it looking not like a dumpster fire… hehe great visual I know! We make sure to talk to each other about what we need to get done, who can cook supper, what is priority, and anything special that needs to be done. For example I plant a garden every year, and I work 12 hour shifts, sometimes I need help with the watering of the garden/ flowers. Or another example- he will have a meeting in the evening and will not be able to cook supper or get that last load of laundry folded. When you have open communication and an understanding that the chores need to be done no matter who does them, it takes the burden and stress off just one person. Remember that you are both adults and both live at that house, no one needs to be your Mom or Daddy – whichever you want to try to make your spouse.

I will leave you today with a verse that we had in our wedding. “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love one another above all else, and tell each other thank you- thank you for making my life beautiful, thank you for loving me, thank you for picking up or taking care of the kids while I got away for a minute, thank you for taking care of yourself, thank you for sharing my life with me. No matter what you thank them for, just saying it out loud makes a difference.

I pray you all find love, hope and faith in your marriage.

-Kristy